Do Ministry Leaders’ Kids Get Special Privileges?

I co-lead a children’s program at church with a friend.  We plan and lead events for the elementary children of the church, including opportunities for the kids to serve the community, invite people in, and do mission projects.  Recently that friend received a complaint because another adult in the church saw one of our younger children accompanying us during a regular program night.  She was upset because her too-young child couldn’t come to the event and was angry because another was there.

Basically, she was saying that the kids of the ministry’s leaders – our kids – were getting special privileges.

Is she right?

I can’t speak for my friend, but do my kids get special privileges at church because I help lead their youth group?

YES.  THEY DO.

What are those privileges?

I can’t speak for other ministry leaders’ kids, and I can’t imagine what PK’s lives must be, but here are some ‘advantages’ my kids get because I volunteer at church:

• They get to come to most events several hours early.  No, there’s nobody at church to play with, and they’re not at home with their toys, and it’s often too cold to be outside, so they pack books or puzzles and hang out, when they don’t have to…
• Help me move furniture.  Somebody has to get equipment and materials set up, so that’s us.  If I did it by myself, we’d have to come even earlier, so they help.  They’ve become expert table- and chair-movers.  They know where everything goes, including traffic ones.
• They place and put away traffic cones.  Because the parking lot is between the playground and the church, block off part of it with traffic cones for the kids’ safety, and that job usually falls to my kids.
• They eat a packed dinner at church, alone, before the event starts.  There’s no time to eat as a family when we have to be at the church to set up before the DH even gets off from work, so the kids get a packed dinner and they eat in the kitchen while I get materials ready.  Usually this involves frozen burritos that I make in big batches ahead of time or sandwiches and fruit.  There’s nothing wrong with it, and it’s a healthy meal, but I feel guilty leaving them to eat alone before each event.
• They get assigned special jobs at most events.  Church leaders always need greeters and door holders, and since my kids are always the first ones there, they usually get one of those jobs handed to them.
• They (sometimes) know in advance what’s happening – and so the surprise is gone.  Sure, they get ‘inside info,’ but they also don’t get the big surprise reveal that the other kids get.
• Clean up afterwards.  It’s not enough to set up, but we have to put everything away, too.  That might include washing tables and chairs, moving furniture back, or running the sweeper.  They help with whatever needs to be done.
• They get to go home last.  Of course, we can’t leave until everyone has come to pick up their kids, and for other moms and dads that’s a fun and social time.  After that, then, we  (see above) go to clean up the room, so we often head home about an hour after the event ended.  Combine that with coming 1-2 hours early and an event lasting 1-2 hours, and you’re looking at 3-5 hours of being away.  No, it’s not horrible, but it means later bedtimes, sleepy kids, and a schedule that must take all of this into account.

Are there real advantages to being the kid of a ministry leader?  I hope so.  I think that means that our kids know that we’re trying to be obedient to Jesus.  That we’re willing to work hard to serve others.  That sometimes we do those hard things even when we’re tired or other people aren’t nice.  That people are important because Jesus loves them and wants us to love them, too.

In the end, it’s not always easy being the kid of a ministry leader.  Please remember that they’re only kids, and in the case of my friend, he was a kid who was trying hard to behave during an activity that was geared for older kids.  It wasn’t easy for him, and it’s often hard work.

Those are the privileges my kids get.  Would you be jealous?